eye bulging moment

ugh...so not a good night. so i had one of those eye bulging, head twisting, out of body moments tonight. and as it was happening, in my head, i realize, oh my word...this is over the stupidest thing! here's the scenario...i'm cooking dinner, jade is on the floor bawling her eyes out FOR NO GOOD REASON! zander has come into the kitchen four times now and asked to watch a movie. four times i've said no. on the fifth time i lose it...jade's screaming, zanders bugging, and i feel my eyes start to bulge, my head start to twist, and every vein in my body pop out. and i'm screaming liking a banchee at him, at jade, at the wall. then it hits me, oh for the love, my mother is on the phone still. yea, i was talking to her while cooking dinner...and yes, she's just witnessed one of the crappiest blow outs i'vehad. talk about humbling...nothing like having someone else witness your exorcist moments, let alone your mother! i'm sure i'll hear from cps in the morning...
but on a positive note, having someone else witness it brought a deeper repentence and awareness of my need for forgiveness from both my children and my heavenly father. so we all sat down to pray together at bedtime and i apologized through prayer and to them directly. so as traumatizing as it was to have my mother hear me, there's nothing like having someone hear your horrible moments. but then isn't God always there to hear those horrible moments? and doesn't his heart break each time? ugh....bad night, good night, eye opening night.