Dear Ben,

My darling husband...i love you. i really do...but on behalf of my burnt scalp i'm telling you that i will never again let you color my hair. never. especially not four times in one night. i speak this to you on my behalf of my burning scalp, my brittle hair, and my bruised self esteem that had to wear a hat to church. i know you think you know what you're doing...but honey, you don't. and i know realize that. so please, i value our relationship too much to let you do this again.
so please retire your mixing bowl and brush and leave the hair coloring to lynzy.
love,
your wife who's sleeping on a towel so she doesn't dye the pillow.