small praise

i got my wallet back tonight. someone found it in a trash can in albertsons. lots of things were missing but some priceless things were there. like pictures of my kids and on my wedding day. but gone are my checks, license, cards, seaworld and zoo passes. i felt disgusted picking it up and realizing they had gone through everything. including a precious letter from my husband. i felt violated. i'm so angry. and the police called at 6:54 am this morning. so i missed that call. i called them four more times and they never called back. i am pissed at sdpd. stupid people.

the crappiest night ever

so tonight we ran up to big lots to get a toy drum set for ronan that they had on sale. we got there and realized that they were out of them and decided to head to the other big lots. so off we went. after we bought our stuff i realized that i had left my purse at the other store in the cart. so off we went...ben called the store and asked if anyone had turned in my purse. well the manager said it was already picked up!!!!! WHAT?!!!!!! so i dropped ben off at home to put the kids to bed and off i went. so here's what happened. a lady turned in my purse to the cashier. the manager looked inside the purse and saw my name on the checks. but then the manager went on break. the cashier got a call from a woman who described what was in the purse and said her husband was on her way to get it. the man came in and said his name was dillon and she just forked it over to him. she didn't ask what his wife's name was, or check if his name matched what was on the checks. SHE JUST FRICKIN' GAVE IT TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of course the video feed was frozen so they had to call coorperate and get them to hack into the system. i am devestated...and angry....and frightened....and just completely overwhelmed. it had my keys, credit card, bank card, checks, digital camera, and the irreplaceable video camera which had many of jade's 'firsts' on it. we had to hide our cars cause the police believe it was too thought out and that they would more than likely come for our cars since they have my address on my license. ben has to change the locks on the house which he can't do till tomorrow so i get to live in fear tomorrow. they emptied our bank account and charged our credit card. we've had to freeze everything. i'm just so flippin' overwhelmed. there's so much to do and i'm so afraid i'll miss something. we have to get our car keys changed too which isn't going to be cheap. but believe me big lots is GOING TO PAY FOR IT!!!! ugh...shoot me.

weekend update

good times....we thought ronan broke his foot on friday by jambing his big toe on a door jamb. but the top of his foot was what was hurting him and he was limping like crazy. then z started getting sick again and coughing like a fool. he said his chest was hurting so i didn't know if he was getting a 2ndary infection or if he was getting something new. there was no fever but i decided to take them both to urgent care on saturday and just get it over with. well let me explain just how fun it is with two boys in a little curtain covered area for 3 1/2 hours! ronan was a terror and you can't yell at him cause well, there are people all over waiting to call cps on me. zander was bored out of his mind and very tired of wearing the stupid doctor mask to cover his cough. every five minutes, ronan don't touch that, ronan touch pull that, ronan don't squeeze that, ronan don't hit your brother, ronan STOP! ugh...it was a nightmare. anyways, by the time i got home i was a raw nerve. but fortunately ronan didn't have a broken foot and zander was getting a new illness. so i got home put the boys to bed and then jade woke up from her nap. sigh...i hate days when there is no mutual sleeping. i'm spoiled i know. but the lord knows what i need! so where was ben? he was at the new moon movie. i went friday night and ben went saturday. and then we both went again saturday night. i love that movie. and yes, i added a new ticker for the next movie already!

eye bulging moment

ugh...so not a good night. so i had one of those eye bulging, head twisting, out of body moments tonight. and as it was happening, in my head, i realize, oh my word...this is over the stupidest thing! here's the scenario...i'm cooking dinner, jade is on the floor bawling her eyes out FOR NO GOOD REASON! zander has come into the kitchen four times now and asked to watch a movie. four times i've said no. on the fifth time i lose it...jade's screaming, zanders bugging, and i feel my eyes start to bulge, my head start to twist, and every vein in my body pop out. and i'm screaming liking a banchee at him, at jade, at the wall. then it hits me, oh for the love, my mother is on the phone still. yea, i was talking to her while cooking dinner...and yes, she's just witnessed one of the crappiest blow outs i'vehad. talk about humbling...nothing like having someone else witness your exorcist moments, let alone your mother! i'm sure i'll hear from cps in the morning...
but on a positive note, having someone else witness it brought a deeper repentence and awareness of my need for forgiveness from both my children and my heavenly father. so we all sat down to pray together at bedtime and i apologized through prayer and to them directly. so as traumatizing as it was to have my mother hear me, there's nothing like having someone hear your horrible moments. but then isn't God always there to hear those horrible moments? and doesn't his heart break each time? ugh....bad night, good night, eye opening night.

a cute pic

these are cute!

poopiness

i am completely overwhelmed and behind so here's a quick update. i had food poisoning today so i'm out of wack and way behind. nevermind the fact that i was gone all weekend and even further behind. ben stayed home today to help me so that was nice. i swear i feel like i get food poisoning all the time lately. weak stomach i guess. so friday we kidnapped melissa from my small group, and by we, i mean the rest of the small group girls. so we took her to dinner and then to an overnight in ramona. it was a lot of fun and good girl time. i have never had such friends that i've allowed in so closely in a long time. they are great girls and i love them. i hope melissa had fun too. on saturday ben and the kids came up and met me and we stayed till sun. morning. the kids LOVED the pool and had quite the middle of the night funny/trauma.
in the middle of the night saturday night we heard a blood curdling scream. like the kind you convince yourself you're going to walk in and see your child dead. so we took off to the boys room were they were sleeping together. zander was sitting in his bed bawling and ronan was trying to get into the closet. poor z claimed to have hit his head on his suitcase...but well, that was on the other side of the room. then he claimed his bunk bed, yup, that's at home. finally he said the table. so when he screamed he woke ro up who instead of helping his bro, he freaked and ran for the door crying! flee the scene child, good job. but instead he got the closet door cause he couldn't find the other door. so he was even more traumatized. poor silly children. however, jade slept through it all. even though she was sleeping in their bathroom. don't ask....

when jade goes spew!

ew ew ew...that's all i have to say!!! tonight i was feeding jade 'garden vegetable pasta". ok first off its the standard ground up nastiness that babies generally eat. well its red too. ok so enough of that description. well she was eating and eating and completed about half of the jar. then all of a sudden she started acting like she was gagging. but there are NO chunks in it. of course she may have regurgitated a small book she ate earlier in the day (all the paper i swear...). but then it happened....her mouth opened as in slow motion and out started the spewing! all the red nasty smelly crap! all over her, the highchair, but because i screamed and ran away, NOT on me. ok probably shouldn't have screamed and ran away when my poor baby was spewing...but well i did. it was gross. i did take her out of the highchair and clean everything up. but there was no fever and praise God, no repeat vomiting. ahhh....i love gross-ness. yay for random throwup.