Stepping down

Well I guess its ok to say that ben has resigned as the worship leader at our church. after 2 1/2 years he's just pooped. and he's trying to get into management at work at that means some longer hours. so he prayed about it for a few months and then made the decision to step down. it's just too much right now with three young kids, two jobs, and he's still in school. i'm amazed he's held it all together this long! and he knows he's not called to full time ministry so our church is at the point where a new person needs to take it to the next level. anyways, sunday is his last sunday! it will be weird having him sit with me again in church but a welcomed change.
so there's our little family update.

Blinded eye

ok so funny, traumatizing story about me. last night i was trying to open a mix-in for my water...i put it in my mouth to tear it open and WHAM! it exploded in my face! up my nose, in my eye! SCREAMING!!!!!!!!! i started freaking out cause ben wasn't home and i felt like my eye was going to explode. i had to flush it in the kitchen sink and i swear i stuck my head there for 20 minutes trying to get the point where i could open my eye. then i had to blow my nose for fifty flippin' years! but here's the great part...the powder went through my nose ring and came back out onto my nose. and it did that all night and even this morning. poor zander thought my nose was bleeding cause the mix in was red. oh it was traumatic....i now use scissors to open them.
jade is almost walking now...she is moving all around the furniture now. it's crazy! she's adorable 98% of the time and i adore her! she is a showboat and loves attention from other people. she waves her hand and claps until people ohhh and awww over her.
i'm trying to get ronan to release his pacifier to just nap times. this is a tough situation because for ronan it's not just a 'paci'. he associates his paci with his hair twirling and that soothes him. so he hasn't quite figured out how to play with his hair without sucking his paci. sooo....its a lot tougher to break the pacifier use. but we're going to micheals to try to find a box to decorate and make a paci box for his bed. we'll see how that works.
zander is cracking me up since turning 5. he swears that everything is different. he's not scared of certain things, he thinks he can play different games, and of course --- his teeth are bigger. it's hilarious!
and if i haven't mentioned it recently, I LOVE MY HUSBAND!

dieting sucks

i finally realized...a little slower than usual, that i've been in denial. i really thought i could just work out and lose weight. nope...i must return to the diet. so yup...diet starts today. which means crabbiness starts today. grumpy, crabby and in desperate need of a pizza. desperate...i need carbs.
tonight was small group and it was a refreshing time as we dive into ephesians. i studied it this summer in a bible study but i swear you could read that book forty times a year and learn amazing new things every time you read it. its so jammed packed! i love coming together with other believers and learning new insights and truths from their perspectives. the Bible is definitely a supernatural book.
i also got my new engagement ring tonight! we got my solataire reset along with my grandmother's smaller diamonds. i have to say it is amazingly beautiful! i have the best husband ever who did it for me! woo hoo! it's nice.
jade is now moving around furniture now. i guess its a matter of time till she takes off walking. i'm so not ready for that. i want to freeze her. haven't i said that before? i'm losing my baby and that kills me!
zander is convinced that since he turned five that things are going to be very different for him. he told me today his teeth are bigger cause he's five, and that he's not scared of anything anymore, and that he's definitely almost as tall as me. he also forced me to let him get his hair cut yesterday. that kills me but apparently he's old enough to inform me that he NEEDS to have it cut. and he tells me how he wants it cut. :(
little ronan is a character. as always. but the latest thing is his singing. i catch that boy singing all the time. even when he's by himself in his room 'reading'. his little voice is precious. he sings on key and is definitely taking after his father. but it's funny cause ronan is a little punk sometimes but when he sings he becomes angelic. his face softens and he's just adorable.
ok so i'm watching american idol while i'm writing this so i'd better stop cause i'm pretty sure i've stopped making sense.

Happy 5th Birthday Zander!

I don't know how I've gotten old enough to have my baby turn 5! I am so proud to be the mother of this incredible little boy. He is very smart, affectionate, funny, and a loving boy. he lights up my life every day with his sparkling eyes and incredible smile. i love the way he dances to any song he hears even if its in the middle of the store and he no one's watching. he truly doesn't care, he just feels the need to groove. i love his humor and the weird jokes he tells. i love the way his face changes when he sees his sister and how the only thing in the world he wants is to be near her and make her laugh. i love when he wrestles with his brother and they laugh and laugh until they're crying. i love how he has to be touching you somehow when he sits besides you.
Zander you are amazing and i love you dearly. happy 5th birthday! hope its amazing!

working out

OH. MY. WORD. i'm dying here. my muscles are ready to peel themselves away from the bone and just fall to the floor. every movement, every breath, every twitch just hurts. but i'm determined. 2 days....but i did learn something valuable at the gym the other night. do NOT engage anybody there who's arms are bigger than your head. they've been there too much and are obsessed with the gym and spreading their 'gym-ee-ness'. i made the mistake of simply making a joke towards a man with arms that wouldn't fit through a door but a head the size of a pin. i told him he could'nt come into the little dumbell room...that's it. and the door opened...apparently he heard "WE SUCK AT LIFTING WEIGHTS, PLEASE SHOW US EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!" which obviously let me state, is NOT what i said. so he proceeded to shadow us around the weight room showing us how to 'properly' use our tricepts. hahaha...stupidness.

the house of the plague

well we've been through the ringer at the annen household! i really felt like there were days i was going to go play in traffic, but we are on the mend. after all the cold respiratory crap, we were all starting to get better....my ears are still plugged which causes a lot of dizziness, but the cough is gone which is HUGE for me. cause coughing with ear infections is not fun. ronan and jade are doing much better! jade had a second round of antibiotics with her ears but she's doing great now. however, saturday night zander got super sick and was vomiting like crazy. the kind were you can't even roll over or stand up without throwing up. he threw up on my carpet, my bed, and off the top bunk. oh my...that was insane. we put him on the floor beside us and he just clung to my hand the whole night. fortunately it was only that night. he was doing better by sunday evening and completely better by today. i have washed and washed and washed some more and lysoled the whole house and then did it again. i am praying hard for jade and ronan and that they won't get it. i now need to get back to the doctor to get my ears checked and figure out why i can't hear. but today is way better than even a few days ago.
a few more updates....jade turned 10 months on sunday and has just filled this house with joy. she is hilarious and is always trying to find someone to look at her to laugh with her. she climbs up the stairs, claps her hands, waves, and tries to climb into the bottom bunk to get to ronan. she is getting much better with ronan and playing with him. they love playing together in the play house in the living room. i love to hear her laugh. she adores her daddy and just lights up when he's anywhere near. if she's taking a bottle and he comes home, she's done with me and quits eating. he has to finish for her.
also ben and i have joined a gym and are working out with some friends. we alternate nights, husbands one night, wives the next. i'm excited but nervous too. i've done one night and ben two nights. my ears are creating a small issue but i'm still determined. so wish us luck! now if i could just curb my appetite. :)

A gut wrenching day

Today was one of the hardest emotional days i've had in a long time. A friend of mine from our old church cabc, and sits at my table for "a mother's haven", had her husband pass away on dec. 26. he left behind his beautiful wife and adorable two boys 4, and 2. apparently he was suffering from a brain tumor that no one knew about and passed away quietly in his sleep. this is definitely one of those things i don't understand. where i want to shake my fists and God and scream "it's not fair!" But God knows that, it's our grief...and I know he's familiar with humans and their mourning. but God was gracious, the husband spent the last three years without going through chemo and surgeries and fatigue. they may not have even had their second son knowing he was dying. but instead they lived in peace and happiness and enjoyed their time together. and the husband was training to be a fireman and so they had moved home with my friend's parents while there was no income coming in...so there she was, surrounded by the people that loved her the most as she woke to this horror. the family has surrounded her and supported her and she has not been alone. many men came forward at the funeral to vow to take care of those boys and teach them to surf, take them to little league, and just step in. God may not always be understandable, but he is always good. its hard to swallow sometimes. i had only met my friend's husband a few times, but i cried and cried as people testified to his character and love for his family and esepcially his wife. he adored her. they played a song that he wrote for her and it was beautiful. i cried for two hours straight...
if you remember, pray for this family tonight. and hug your husbands and wives and be so grateful that they are there beside you. in a blink of an eye they could be gone.

the week from hell.

this week has been riddled with illness after illness. i'm so done with it all. it started with zander getting sick and it going into a sinus infection...not an ear infection. the after hours doctor was crazy. the next day z woke up vomiting and jade had not slept all night so i took them both in. the stupid P.A. said that z was gagging on his snot and that jade was fine. that night z started feeling better but jade was up ALL NIGHT...so the following evening ben took jade in to after hours pediatrics and they said she had the worst ear infection they'd seen in a while. ok so in 24 hours she went from nothing to a raging ear infection?! doubtful....stupid P.A. then the next night ronan got really sick and wasn't sleeping. he was coughing and weezing. so i had to take him to after hours by myself with ALL the kids cause ben wasn't out from work yet and it was the only appointment. we got there and they confirmed ro was wheezing and that his oxygen levels were low. so they did a breathing treatment there (did i mention i was there with three kids...) and gave us more antibiotics and an inhaler. and then she warned me the meds in the inhaler and the breathing treatment were going to make him hyper. aka...CRAZY! then the next night (that's thursday night in case you've lost track...yes that's tues, wed. and thur night) i went to the urgent care cause my ear was killing me and i couldn't stop coughing. cause i had been sick all week too. a fever for three days all while trying to take care of my sick kids. its been great let me tell you....anyways, apparently no ear infection for me, just really big glands pushing on my ear. but i did get the good stuff cough meds...yea for that. so now we are slowly on the mend. its been a long week. i did things i didn't think i was capable of while being so sick. like running from ronans room to jades room while they both cried during their naps from being so sick...and then i sat outside the room and bawled from being so sick myself. but man, God does give you strength in your weakness. i had lots of people praying for me and it was greatly felt.

a funny story about today. we went to fuddruckers for lunch cause we all really needed to get out of the house. well i was on the phone talking to my friend ann and holding jade on my hip. ben was watching the boys play. he came up and took jade and i sort of saw him say to her, "are you stinky jade?" then he pulls her up and sees the poop running down her leg...then his shirt....all covered with yellow poop....then i realize i should also look down...yup, all over my sweatshirt...i screamed to ann that i had to go and ran to the bathroom. but to make matters worse, i had ONE wipe left in my case. ONE WIPE! thats what you get for staying home for a week...you forget to check the diaper bag. so i had to get creative. her sock, her pants, then i got a poor little girl standing in horror watching me, to get paper towels and wet them for me. eventually i got her cleaned up. a quick run to target and ben, jade, and i were all poop free. gotta love antibiotics.