3 kids, 3 stories

Zander - i love him. i do. but he's four and trying desperately to give up his nap. I REFUSE! and at around 5 pm i am VERY aware that he's truly not ready to give up his nap. he loses his mind. loses it....out the window. so he likes to come in and tell me he slept. well today he comes in and tells me he slept. but he doesn't have that 'i just slept and my hair is a sweaty mess' look. so after a while of sitting i went back to the room to turn off the fan and i see the tv is on. yes, the junior cheeze puff forgot to turn off the evidence. for an HOUR AND A HALF he sat there and watched tv. can he tell time?! how did he know when it was 'ok' to come out? genius...but only slightly. next time turn the tv off.
Ronan- i often threaten this kid. usually i threaten to leave him standing in our driveway or someone else's driveway. usually he comes running with this sad look of 'please don't leave me!'. however, he's learning. like a crazy adaptive computer he's realizing that i might not be serious. he just turned two. so today after our bible study the little fart stood in the grass while EVERYONE left. i shut the doors to the van...still no response. i got in the van. (this is now the farthest i've pushed it) i look at him, he waves. little punk....so i start the car. ronan starts rolling down the grass hill and giggling. ok, van in gear and off i go my three inches. all the while praying and sweating in hopes that he comes running. ahhhh....it worked. praise the good Lord! he came running. how many more threats will i have to actually follow through with? could i actually drive off? probably not...i guess i need a new tactic.
Jade- i was holding the cute little fat thing outside watching the boys play. cute. fat. hmm....she flails her arms up and WHOA! what is that stench?! oh yea, it's my precious cute, FAT, little girl. her little arm pits are enough to knock you over. can babies smell like that?! good lord, get that girl a bath. i took multiple baby wipes to her cause well, you can fake a bath. especially with babies. once a year is good for a bath right? just don't get to close, this baby's got stink issues! HA!